If you can't convince them, confuse them

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Snap

Well I don't know what the cause is for sure...

but I know I snapped tonight.

I haven't been on any antidepressant/mood stabilizing drugs for about 7 weeks. Probably not the best time to go off of them LOL
I'm supposed to get married September 2nd. I don't have everything paid for yet. I need about $2500 by the 19th of this month. We're praying for a bonus check on the 15th.
My kids have been horrible. Making messes, running in the house, sliding down the steps, not sleeping until late at night and waking early in the mornings.
Charlies been out of town since 3 on Sunday. he was supposed to come home tonight but didn't. He'll be home *sometime tomorrow*. I've had it. I feel like I'm so stressed. Charlie has been so tired that when he's home he doesn't want to do anything. So my yard isn't getting tended to. Nothings getting done. I have to do the laundry, the cleaning, the yard work, the child raising, the bill paying, the wedding planner, the wedding stresser. I'm not sure what his role is in this house!!!!! Just going to work? Well shit. Sign me up.
So tonight? I've had it.

I just spent hours cleaning my kitchen. 2 garbage bags full of garbage. Throwing away everything. Emptied every cabinet and wiped it down. used Clorox clean up on the outsides, scrubbed the floors on my hands and knees. I threw an empty milk cartoon towards Megan because she didn't throw it away. I swear. She's lucky it wasn't full. Oddly enough? I feel much better. Brooke tried to talk to me and I told her to shut up. So she went and wrote me a note that asked " mom can Megan and me clean my room tomorrow" I hung it on the refrigerator. I feel bad but I think it needed to happen. They need to know that this shit is done. I'm not a freaking maid. We have too many people in this house for no one to have responsibility for their stuff.

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