Count your blessings.
3 years ago today my little guy almost died. As you all know Brooke is autistic. I had a cabinet that had tons of small things on top of it. (chewy candy, bottle caps, lids, change, etc) I decided I would try to sew a dress for my girls (that's the first problem LOL) and I was sitting at the table with the sewing machine. I heard the crash. I ran in and Brooke had climbed up the cabinet and it dumped over on her. She was fine. I first picked things up and then had a good talk with Brooke. I was concentrating on her and trying to get through her head that you can't climb etc and it can hurt you etc. Those of you with autistic children know the fearless energy these children often have. I will say with 110% knowledge I didn't even pay attention to the baby. I was so focused on Brooke and teaching her this. I heard Nathan gasp. It was the most god awful noise I've ever head in my whole life. I knew immediately that he was choking and called to my son to call 911. My kids were little, gosh, hmmm Ant must have been 8, Brooke would have been 4? Megan would have been 3 and we had a new puppy that was about 12 weeks? Anyhow.. Nathan was choking so horrible.I tried the Heimlich. I was doing everything 911 said to do yet his chest kept getting flatter and flatter. His lips were turning blue, and he began to throw up blood. I was home by myself and my husband was at some job training place about an hour or more away. I remember just knowing my baby was going to die and how was I going to tell my husband. It took 911 12 minutes to get someone to my house. At that point my son was pretty lethargic but still breathing.
When they came in I immediately called my best friend and asked her to come to come get my kids. I didn't say why I just hung up. I remember being upset that the firefighter people weren't doing anything! They were just giving him oxygen. Why weren't they helping? I didn't even have fear initially I felt embarrassed. I thought Gosh he's choking, ill call 911 to help me.. they will come get it out and I will feel like a bad mom but he'll be fine. When my "plan" unraveled I began to panic. The ambulance got there and they took him out. Oh my God! They didn't even ask me his name. They don't even know his name! Why that stressed me out is beyond me. Nathan was only 14 months old. I forgot to tell ya that. We went to put him in the ambulance and I went to get in. They told me no. that they were going to life flight him. I remember falling to the ground screaming. my oldest came out and was crying and I screamed at him to go inside because I didn't want him to see his brother die. I just can't forgive myself for the way I reacted. I mean... I know it wasn't my "fault" he choked, but, as a mom? I freaked. I totally lost it. I screamed and cussed at the 911 lady. I am sure I freaked my son out a billion times with fear.
My friends husband drove me to the hospital. No one would tell me anything and they put me in an isolated room. Isolated rooms are NOT good! We had to call the state police to find my husband who was on the road in between Harrisburg and York, Pa.. They did find him and brought him straight to the hospital. I'm not writing this very good I know. My hands are shaking. I should probably stop writing it but I want to talk about I want to remember it and make others know how quickly something can happen. How thankful you need to be for ever day. I didn't even want this baby. My marriage was going down hill, we were talking about divorce on and off and I ended up getting pregnant. We weren't even having sex. If I had put it on the calendar I could have told you the exact day because it was that rare.. when I found out I was pregnant so crushed. And now.. this is my payback. this was Gods way of letting me know I didn't deserve this baby.
The Drs wouldn't come in. A few nurses came to the room every so often to see how I was. they wouldn't give me updates. They kept asking me where my husband was. I was sure they were waiting for him to get there to tell me he had died. Scott stayed with me the whole time at the hospital. He was such a strong rock for me. They wouldn't let me see him. After about 2 hours they finally let me back to see him. Some nurse was holding him upright in a chair with a Styrofoam cup for oxygen I guess it worked as a mask? heck I don't know. When he breathed in his eyes would roll to the back of his head-- I lost it. Fell to the floor and almost passed out. I will never forgive myself for being a horrible mom. How on earth did I let some other woman hold my baby? How did I not be strong enough to be there with him. HE was alone and I was sooo weak. Those are the things that eat me up.
This is really getting lengthy huh. Ok Ill wrap it up I guess. In the end they did emergency surgery. He had choked on a bottle cap. IT was the top nozzle to a spray called "bitter Apple" . I can't tell you how quickly it can happen. The cap was huge. It almost cost me my son's life. He has some delays due to the lack of oxygen he had. But ya know what? he's here! I wrote the people an email today that drove me the hospital. I just feel like I should do more. I can't tell you enough how important it is to learn the Heimlich. I didn't know it. Please value every day you have with your children. I can't believe I ever had doubts about this baby. He's a complete joy to my life. He's a constant smile and he's got the strongest energy around him.
When they came in I immediately called my best friend and asked her to come to come get my kids. I didn't say why I just hung up. I remember being upset that the firefighter people weren't doing anything! They were just giving him oxygen. Why weren't they helping? I didn't even have fear initially I felt embarrassed. I thought Gosh he's choking, ill call 911 to help me.. they will come get it out and I will feel like a bad mom but he'll be fine. When my "plan" unraveled I began to panic. The ambulance got there and they took him out. Oh my God! They didn't even ask me his name. They don't even know his name! Why that stressed me out is beyond me. Nathan was only 14 months old. I forgot to tell ya that. We went to put him in the ambulance and I went to get in. They told me no. that they were going to life flight him. I remember falling to the ground screaming. my oldest came out and was crying and I screamed at him to go inside because I didn't want him to see his brother die. I just can't forgive myself for the way I reacted. I mean... I know it wasn't my "fault" he choked, but, as a mom? I freaked. I totally lost it. I screamed and cussed at the 911 lady. I am sure I freaked my son out a billion times with fear.
My friends husband drove me to the hospital. No one would tell me anything and they put me in an isolated room. Isolated rooms are NOT good! We had to call the state police to find my husband who was on the road in between Harrisburg and York, Pa.. They did find him and brought him straight to the hospital. I'm not writing this very good I know. My hands are shaking. I should probably stop writing it but I want to talk about I want to remember it and make others know how quickly something can happen. How thankful you need to be for ever day. I didn't even want this baby. My marriage was going down hill, we were talking about divorce on and off and I ended up getting pregnant. We weren't even having sex. If I had put it on the calendar I could have told you the exact day because it was that rare.. when I found out I was pregnant so crushed. And now.. this is my payback. this was Gods way of letting me know I didn't deserve this baby.
The Drs wouldn't come in. A few nurses came to the room every so often to see how I was. they wouldn't give me updates. They kept asking me where my husband was. I was sure they were waiting for him to get there to tell me he had died. Scott stayed with me the whole time at the hospital. He was such a strong rock for me. They wouldn't let me see him. After about 2 hours they finally let me back to see him. Some nurse was holding him upright in a chair with a Styrofoam cup for oxygen I guess it worked as a mask? heck I don't know. When he breathed in his eyes would roll to the back of his head-- I lost it. Fell to the floor and almost passed out. I will never forgive myself for being a horrible mom. How on earth did I let some other woman hold my baby? How did I not be strong enough to be there with him. HE was alone and I was sooo weak. Those are the things that eat me up.
This is really getting lengthy huh. Ok Ill wrap it up I guess. In the end they did emergency surgery. He had choked on a bottle cap. IT was the top nozzle to a spray called "bitter Apple" . I can't tell you how quickly it can happen. The cap was huge. It almost cost me my son's life. He has some delays due to the lack of oxygen he had. But ya know what? he's here! I wrote the people an email today that drove me the hospital. I just feel like I should do more. I can't tell you enough how important it is to learn the Heimlich. I didn't know it. Please value every day you have with your children. I can't believe I ever had doubts about this baby. He's a complete joy to my life. He's a constant smile and he's got the strongest energy around him.
posted by Missy at
12:49 PM
3 Comments:
I remember that whole ordeal. It was about a couple of weeks before I dropped out of the chatroom scene. I remember those goofy broads that were trying to harrass you into talking about it, after you told them to drop it.I don't remember their names.I just remember Ang screeching at them to leave you alone.LOL
By
Anonymous, At
March 04, 2005 3:35 PM
Really? I don't remember people asking me to talk about it LOL
I don't even remember who I talked to. I remember when Nathan was born, Angey was the first one to call me and find out he was in NICU. . lol shows how bad my memory is it.
By
Missy, At
March 04, 2005 4:40 PM
I remember this clearly. I was talking to you while you were sewing and then you disappeared for hours (which wasnt unusual) and I think it was the next day you came online briefly and told me what had happened. I wrote this in my journal.
I am updating this purely for Missy's benefit LOL she may want to link here or something so she doesnt have to type out what Im about to.
Ok, so, last Saturday night EST Missy's youngest, Nathan, put a pump bottle top in his mouth and started to choke, his little chest was flat and hed turned a grayish colour. Her eldest son, Anthony, called 911 while Missy frantically tried to get the obstruction out. The paramedics arrived, Nathan was vomitting blood and breathing some of it back into his lungs. The paramedics were also unable to retrieve the lid. It was decided that he needed life flight to Medical Center in a town about 30 mins away. Missys friend Scott drove her to the hospital and his wife took the rest of the kids to their house. 5 State Trooper vehicles were sent out to search for John who was at a training thing for his new work. Missy arrived at the hospital at about 6.22pm where she was put into a "quiet room", she had a clergyman come and visit her, and just as John turned up at the hospital they told them that "there is a good chance your son will die". They then explained what they were going to do for Nathan,
Poor liitle baby went into surgery where they removed the lid and put him on a respirator, strapped down and sedated. He was unable to breath on his own as every time they removed the tubes his throat would swell By 4pm the next day he was breathing on his own and even laughing a little. He spent one night in the hospital (which Missy and I both think is just crazy). He was released at 7pm the following evening and Missy and John took him home. Hes still not 100%, he is on anti-biotics for an upper respiratory infection and he is understandably clingy. He wants his mom with him always :) but when you think about it, its never a bad thing.
As you can imagine Missy was and still is, to a certain extent, a mess she has been unable to sleep, she is mentally and physically exhausted, and she feels guilty. Ive tried to tell her that it wasnt her fault, and I think she knows that, but I can understand how she feels. I know she will get passed this, she'll never forget, but she will get on with things, she is amazingly strong. Her daughter Brooke is due for surgery in 8 days. I dont envy Missy's situation, but I have an enourmous amount of respect for her and how she raises her children and deals with everything life hands her. I just wish I was closer so I could help when she needs it.
blah blah
cry cry
LOL LOL
Gosh I am a sucky friend. lol
By
Anonymous, At
March 07, 2005 7:34 AM
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home